092 – Being Bullied isn’t Unique to Childhood

Photo by Florencia Carcamo

On today’s episode, we’re talking about bullying. Have you been bullied as an adult? Are you being bullied as an adult?

As we get older and wiser, we’d like to think that we leave a lot of unsavory situations and emotions behind us. You know, on the playground, where a lot of social learning <ahem, awkwardness and embarrassment> takes place. We grow up and get to leave all of that behind us, right?

Sometimes, no. Sometimes, even as adults, we have to face a bully. Bullies can be in our workplace, home, or social circle.

And it doesn’t necessarily get easier to deal with them, either…especially when your livelihood may be tied to daily encounters with your bully. Being bullied as an adult can cause horrible physical issues, as well as psychological damage, depending on a lot of different factors.

That’s why it’s important to acknowledge if you are experiencing bullying in your life. In order to take the next steps (whatever those are for you – no one can tell you what will work best for your unique situation), you have to admit that it’s real. It’s not your fault. And you now have choices on how to deal.

Please enjoy our conversation and tell us what you think!

Mentioned in this episode:

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Have you ever been bullied in your work place? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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091 – Are You Ambitious?

 

Photo by pedro alves

Photo by pedro alves

The topic of ambition recently came up in one of our VC2016 brainstorming sessions. After chatting about our ideas of what the word means to us individually, as well as the context it’s societally understood in, we knew we had to dig a little deeper into how describing ourselves as ambitious or not makes us feel and how judgement rears its ugly head in the labelling process.

am·bi·tion. amˈbiSH(ə)n/
noun – a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.
Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? Determination. Desire. Hard work. Good, solid words to describe what keeps many of us going – having something to look forward to and achieve.
But, too often, the word(s) ambition/ambitious are used to either put ourselves or others down. Some people use ambition as a synonym for uncaring, ruthless, mean-spiritedness in others. Still today, we see ambitious women being labelled “bossy,” “bitch,” or any number of meant-to-be insults.
On the flip side, some of us put those we deem most ambitious into an untouchable realm of super-humanness… something we’ll never be, no matter how much we want something. We use this judgment to denigrate ourselves and add check marks to the “Not Good Enough” column. Put the measuring stick down!
In reality, we are all ambitious in different regards. Although the term is applied most often to career aspirations and/or monetary rewards, it can actually apply to any area that you are dedicated to doing your best in – self-love, family, projects, the environment, education, kindness, etc. It’s not a good or bad thing to be ambitious – it just is.
Please enjoy our chat and tell us what you think!

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What are your thoughts about ambition?  Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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090 – Five Levels of Attachment: An Interview with don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

Today, we welcome Toltec Master of Transformation and author, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. to Vagina Chronicles Podcast. Miguel Jr. is the son of don Miguel Ruiz, author of the New York Times bestseller The Four Agreements… If you feel the way we feel about The Four Agreements, wait until you listen to this fantastic, uplifting interview.

In his recently released book, The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for a Modern World, Miguel explains how attachment to our beliefs can move us from a preference to fanaticism and how we all move in and out of the different levels of attachment throughout our lives.

Miguel shows us the freedom in noticing our attachments without judgement. He shares how we can get in touch with our authentic selves by detaching from our beliefs – about others, about the world, about truth, and about ourselves – and how this clarity leads to taking action.

Please enjoy this incredible conversation and do yourself a favor and purchase, check out, borrow, listen to The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for a Modern World.

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In the Comments:

What level of attachment are you currently experiencing? Can you identify it now that you understand how we become attached to our beliefs? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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083 – Effective Communication: How Tuning In With Love Can Change Your Relationships

Miscommunication is one of the most frustrating feelings one can experience with another human being; we want so badly to express ourselves and be heard that the alternative can be excruciating! Too often, we blame others for this lack of connection.

But what if we could adjust our communication skills by tweaking just one element? Not saying it’s easy, by any means, but, as in many situations, love is the answer. Now, we’re not talking rainbows and butterflies, we’re talking about conscious, pointed, intentional love. Speak with it. Hear with it.

By incorporating that one element into all our interactions with others, we can begin to transform how we enter, and leave, conversations. All of us want to be heard (it’s a basic human need), but so often we feel we are not.

Please enjoy this episode as we share our experiences with miscommunication and tips on how to enrich each relationship with the gift of love and validation.

Mentioned in this episode:

  • The 5 Love Languages Book by Gary Chapman
  • The 5 Love Languages Website
  • The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz
  • “6 Rules For Open & Honest Communication With The Person You Love” Article by Scott Stabile

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In the Comments:

Have you ever experienced the difference between listening with fear vs. love?  Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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