Vagina Chronicles Podcast

SMART WOMEN · TOUGH TOPICS

079 – Do You Feel Breast Shame?

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This month on Vagina Chronicles Podcast, in honor of breast cancer awareness, we’re going to dedicate each episode to breasts. There is so much disfunction in America concerning women’s breasts; over sexualizing, shame, disassociation, objectification, anger, and so many other issues plague our relationship to our breasts.

In this episode, we are talking about breast shame. We discuss how it develops, as well as how that shame can cause us to disconnect from our bodies and lose (or never have) a loving, caring relationship with our breasts.

Although prevention is the optimal strategy for dealing with any disease, early detection is also an extremely important component of healing. We want to encourage all women to do monthly breast self-exams in order to get to know our own bodies. Hopefully, with the compassion and connection gained for ourselves through regular loving touch, we will have the courage and confidence to discuss changes in our bodies with our doctors or healthcare providers.

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078 – Just Show Up!

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Astronaut Cady Coleman peeks out of a window of the Soyuz TMA-20 spacecraft. Photo by NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

Astronaut Cady Coleman peeks out of a window of the Soyuz TMA-20 spacecraft. Photo by NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

Inspired by a simple, yet profound, quote by NASA astronaut Cady Coleman, we are talking about how showing up can be the tipping point for change.

In an interview with NPR, Cady, along with fellow NASA astronaut Serena Auñón, European Space Agency astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti, and NASA Chief Scientist Ellen Stofan, spoke about her experience at NASA as a woman. When sharing a story of how she would show up, uninvited, to spacesuit training, Cady said, “It used to surprise them that I had the spacesuit capability and I’m very proud to be qualified in a spacesuit. There’s ways to change things, just by showing up and doing your job.”

Sometimes, people get stuck in old ways of thinking that exclude you. But, if you just show up, you can begin to change people’s minds and get what you want out of life!

Please enjoy this inspiring episode!

 

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Have you ever shown up to somewhere that you really wanted to be, uninvited? How did it go? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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077 – Girl or Woman: Does it Matter What You’re Called?

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Photo by Alena Getman

Photo by Alena Getman

Oh, language. How you can bestow the most empowering of titles or the moniker of “mud.” Words are one of those things that carry so much weight, yet are thrown about like they can’t be used as weapons. And who gets to determine the destructiveness of the words we say or hear?

Well, you do. We all do. And today we would like to encourage all of you to decide that being called “girl” is not an insult. It is not demeaning. Girls are strong, amazing, powerful creatures and we should be proud to be called “girl.”

Now, we understand that sometimes people throw the word “girl” at you to try and put you in a childish place. A less-than role. But we think it’s time to embrace our girlhood (however long past) and let the subtext roll off our backs. Girls are great. Period.

 

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What do you feel about being called a “girl”; are you offended or empowered? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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076 – Sexual Harassment and Public Transit

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There was a study conducted of 600 Parisian women regarding sexual harassment and public transportation in which all, that’s 100%, of the respondents claimed to have experienced one form or another of sexual harassment while using public transit.

That may be surprising to some men, but, as women, we can all (or most) attest to this statistic as lived experience. It’s part of our daily norm; catcalls, come-ons, gropes, lewd gestures, masturbation being performed in front of us(?!) can, and does, happen.

In terms of public transportation, or alternative commuting options, women around the world are facing these demeaning, and sometimes physically violent, situations while trying to get to work, or school, or going to see family or friends… you know, just trying to live their life.

Public transportation is so vitally necessary for women to have access to good jobs, school, affordable daycare, shopping, and many other things, but we are being failed in terms of safety and accountability. We need more to be done. And, thankfully, there are people working hard, advocating for women’s right to safe public space.

Please listen in to hear a few tips on how you can help and how to protect yourself in the meantime.

 

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How do you think we can combat the sexual harassment and safety issues women face on public transit? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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075 – Loving Our Planet

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We’re putting on our farmer caps for this episode as we talk about sustainability and the small ways we can all do our part in loving the planet!

We know it can be pretty overwhelming, and confusing, when thinking of how much needs to be done to protect our environment, but hopefully we can help break it down into bite-sized pieces by sharing the changes we’ve made (or are in the process of making).

Like we said, we get it! It can feel like, no matter what we do, it won’t be enough, but, by employing mindfulness in our everyday lives and already-hardwired habits, we can all begin to notice ways in which we can make small changes that add up over time.

And it can be fun! Learning about food, perhaps even growing your own, and incorporating as many environmentally-friendly products into your life can spark a passion you may not know you have!

Please join us in doing a little something (or some BIG somethings) every day, so that we can help this pale blue dot thrive!

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What ways do you and your family practice sustainability in your life and home? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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074 – How to Identify “Gaslighting” and Reclaim Your Self

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Photo by nydia hartono

Photo by nydia hartono

Do you ever leave a conversation feeling like you just got hit by a bus or you feel dizzy and confused? As if everything you know to be true has just been brought into question and, sometimes, even negated by someone else? Perhaps someone does this to you often: a partner, family member, boss, or friend? How does this make you feel?

Sometimes this manipulation is deliberate and used as a tool for controlling and manipulating people. It is used by some (if not all) abusers to dominate and degrade their victims. It makes the recipient question their reality, their memories, their sanity.

There is a name for this: gaslighting. From a 1938 stage play called Gas Light, in which the husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by periodically dimming the gas lights, the term describes the experience of many people.

While researching for the show, we had lots of “Aha!” moments about our own interactions, past and present, and realized that, although gaslighting is typically done deliberately, sometimes human beings speak without fully understanding how our words affect others and we unintentionally begin to dance the “Gaslight Tango” with people we love. We think it’s important to recognize the subtle ways that many of us manipulate without malice, but with very real consequences for those we are interacting with.

In this episode, we share the ways in which gaslighters manipulate and how to recognize the signs. We also discuss how you can begin to extricate yourself from an abusive, or potentially abusive, situation and begin to reclaim your power.

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Have you ever experienced gaslighting? What do think about this manipulation tactic? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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073 – Cheating Myths and Murky Waters

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Today, we’re talking about cheating. Yes, it is an incredibly uncomfortable subject to discuss openly, but we’re giving voice to a few of the reasons why it is such a touchy topic.

On the heels of the Ashley Madison (a website created to help married people cheat) scandal, with over 30 million subscriber’s information being leaked, the state of relationships in the U.S. cannot be ignored any longer.

All relationships have troubled times. Having problems does not necessarily lead to infidelity and infidelity does not always happen in the name of discontent. Also, cheating does not have to be the end of your relationship. It is important to break down some of these myths so that a real discussion can evolve.

Please join us as we walk the fine line and try to peer into the murky waters of relationships that deal with cheating.

 

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Have you ever dealt with cheating? Did you and your partner work through it or did you separate? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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072 – Growing Pains

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Photo by Greg Neate

Photo by Greg Neate

On today’s episode, we’re checking in on America and how she’s coping with the increasingly changing gender roles and gender equity. Sometimes, we suffer growing pains as we transition from one set of norms into a new one.

And, to some, these pains are not easy to grin and bear. Traditional values sometimes become a lifeline for people in a disconnected, busy society; the defending of these traditional ideologies becomes even more important to some when a lot of things are making big strides at the same time, such as marriage equality, gender equality, and anti-racism.

It’s important to have patience and tolerance on both sides of change. We can’t shuffle everyone into either friend or foe… sometimes people need a moment. Sometimes people need to be part of the dialogue. And sometimes people need to watch silently from the sidelines until they know where they fit.

Please join us in discussing how humankind is handling this momentous time.

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How are the men in your life (or yourself, if you are a man) coping with the changing gender roles in America? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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071 – Creating Sustainable Sexuality After Trauma: An Interview with Chris Maxwell Rose

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Chris Maxwell Rose

Chris Maxwell Rose

Warning: Adult Content. This episode is intended for an audience 18 years and older. If you are under 18, and wish to listen, please have a discussion with your parent or guardian and ask them to listen with you.

Today, we welcome back the fabulous Chris Maxwell Rose. Chris has been an independent sex educator for over a decade. Along with her wife, Charlotte Mia Rose, Chris runs PleasureMechanics.com and hosts the popular sex podcast Speaking of Sex. Their online courses allow you to master new erotic skills, ranging from Couples Massage to Foreplay Mastery and beyond.

Chris is also a survivor of multiple counts of childhood sexual abuse and teenage assault, and is dedicated to supporting other survivors in recovering their ability to enjoy sex again, on their own terms.

In this episode, Chris guides us a little deeper into learning how to heal our bodies with loving touch; she shares some great techniques we can apply right away in order to reclaim the right of feeling pleasure and connection from our own bodies. Chris also explains how to communicate with your partner in a way that allows you to remain safe, as well as respects them and their needs.

Please join us in this great conversation and let us know how you’re doing. Always remember, this is a life-long journey. Don’t judge the quality of the rest of your life by where you are today… it can be difficult, it can be scary, it can be the saddest, most frustrating part of healing at times. But you’re worth it. You deserve agency over your own body, your own pleasure.

You can access Chris and Charlotte’s online courses by clicking on the course title that you are interested in:

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Join us in asking iTunes and Apple to create a space for Women! Submit a request here!

In the Comments:

Do you struggle with reclaiming your sexuality after trauma? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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070 – Why It’s Important to Let Anger Have Its Place

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Photo by Matt P.

Photo by Matt P.

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On today’s episode, we’re delving into the emotion of anger.

Many people view anger as a negative, or “bad,” emotion that means that they’ve somehow messed up on their journey of self-love, integrity, and compassion. The belief that anger is only a precursor to violence, hate, or hurting others can cause a lot of us to shy away from letting our natural feelings flow through us.

However, unexpressed anger doesn’t just disappear – it can take the form of depression, frustration, apathy or many other debilitating states.

We know that learning to express anger can be confrontational. We get it. But we also know, firsthand, how letting anger flow can be the best clearing of “stuck” emotions that can be experienced.

Please join us as we share tips on how, as long as you aren’t hurting others, you can use anger to fuel great things!

Join us in asking iTunes and Apple to create a space for Women! Submit a request here!

 In the Comments:

How do you handle your anger? Share your thoughts in the Comments below.

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