Toni and I recently recorded an episode on aging and, since that incredibly vulnerable and honest conversation, I have been really focusing on how I respond to my feelings of inadequacy.
As a feminist, it almost feels like a betrayal of my values to be going through a funk about my time on the calendar. The reality of the mirror, however, does not preclude strong women from this experience.
You know what, let’s lay it on the line: Many of us have been programmed to believe that a considerable amount of our worth is wrapped up in our looks. It doesn’t make us weak or less powerful, it’s just an admission of our struggle against our upbringing.
I, for one, don’t think we should gloss over the insecurities of women who are fighting every day to overcome that programming to be who we are in our hearts today.
So I share this with you.
Some days, it sucks to pass by the mirror and not recognize the woman looking back.
Sometimes, I have to consciously focus on not caring about what I look like to get through the day.
Oftentimes, I avoid the mirror in order to pull my energy from my heart, rather than my narcissism.
Yup, I said narcissism. Because that’s what it means when we think the world cares so much about how we look that they don’t judge us on our actual merit.
We have to acknowledge our insecurities to be comfortable enough to tackle them. Shame doesn’t solve anything.
So, ladies, I say we embrace every wrinkle, every laugh line, every enlarged pore as a sign of our continual growth!
If we stayed the same, we would be fulfilling that deepest fear of the perpetual awkward teen, 20-something, etc… We’ve out grown that stage!
We’re trying! We know our worth cannot be about our outward appearance!
But let’s be gentle on ourselves as we learn to accept this transition. Joy doesn’t mean there was never a little hiccup.
Joy is the where we’re going and every second we touch it is a triumph!
Love to all,