Farewell… For Now

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It’s been over a year since we’ve been in front of the mic. For reasons that don’t make sense in retrospect… Because of fear and confusion.

We recorded this episode when we were finally able to say that we’re ending VC Podcast… For now. We’re open to what the future brings but not promising that it will bring us back here.

Thank you for all of your support and love. We love you all!

Listen To The Full Episode:

Ready Or Not, Here It Comes

Photo by Aih

Photo by Aih

Toni and I recently recorded an episode on aging and, since that incredibly vulnerable and honest conversation, I have been really focusing on how I respond to my feelings of inadequacy.

As a feminist, it almost feels like a betrayal of my values to be going through a funk about my time on the calendar. The reality of the mirror, however, does not preclude strong women from this experience.

You know what, let’s lay it on the line: Many of us have been programmed to believe that a considerable amount of our worth is wrapped up in our looks. It doesn’t make us weak or less powerful, it’s just an admission of our struggle against our upbringing.

I, for one, don’t think we should gloss over the insecurities of women who are fighting every day to overcome that programming to be who we are in our hearts today.

So I share this with you.

Some days, it sucks to pass by the mirror and not recognize the woman looking back.

Sometimes, I have to consciously focus on not caring about what I look like to get through the day.

Oftentimes, I avoid the mirror in order to pull my energy from my heart, rather than my narcissism.

Yup, I said narcissism. Because that’s what it means when we think the world cares so much about how we look that they don’t judge us on our actual merit.

We have to acknowledge our insecurities to be comfortable enough to tackle them. Shame doesn’t solve anything.

So, ladies, I say we embrace every wrinkle, every laugh line, every enlarged pore as a sign of our continual growth!

If we stayed the same, we would be fulfilling that deepest fear of the perpetual awkward teen, 20-something, etc… We’ve out grown that stage!

We’re trying! We know our worth cannot be about our outward appearance!

But let’s be gentle on ourselves as we learn to accept this transition. Joy doesn’t mean there was never a little hiccup.

Joy is the where we’re going and every second we touch it is a triumph!

Love to all,

Angela

 

Don’t Break Down on the Road to Self-Improvement

It’s really easy to get stuck in the “How can I be better?” mindset and forget to celebrate the beautiful, wonderful things about you that make you…well, YOU! As a chronic self-improver, I am guilty of this most days. But today is different.

Why today? Because I just finished reading Gay Hendricks’ The Big Leap, recommended by the inspiring Marie Forleo.

I devoured Gay’s book; he offers so many useful tips about finding your strengths and purpose necessary to living in your “Zone of Genius” that I had multiple “Aha!” moments. Now, I understand that that isn’t anything new to us who collect Don Miguel Ruiz, Deepak Chopra, Steven Pressfield, and Dale Carnegie books like they’re cute little plush toys with beady black eyes, but something clicked in a way that’s never clicked before.

I already possess that magical talent or unique gift that I’ve been thinking I’ll find when I ‘get better.’

My special-ness been a part of me since I was a child. It was even cultivated because of the hardships that I endured,  not despite them. Now, that’s a tough one to admit.

One of the most profound moments of my life was at six or seven years old (?) when my mother caught me chanting in the mirror, “Who do we love? Angela! Angela! Angela!,” and proceeded to kick the chair out from under me with her response of “Stop being so vain.” Um, what?! I was a baby!

That nano-second of a rejection has whispered in the back of my mind for thirty-plus years. “Don’t love yourself. Don’t think your pretty or smart, or any other thing that is good, because you’re being vain,” slips in every time I start to feel good about myself.

Gay Hendricks helped me see that that experience (among countless others) created a glass ceiling for my level of acceptable success, love, and abundance. It caused me to perceive myself as weak; to feel as if I had to get better, be better…but not too much better.

I’m not going to lie, the journey is going to be difficult, fraught with hair-triggers and landmines decades old, but I’m going to start celebrating the aspects of me that are strong and beautiful. I’m going to embrace the fully human, connected Angela who believes that she is worthy.

I want to share this tiny, amazing revelation with anyone who, like me, gets caught in the feeling that you’re not good enough as you are…Heck! Not just “good enough,” but awesome, inspirational, powerful, and abundantly capable of having your wildest dreams come true!

There is tremendous worth in striving to be a kinder, more loving, healthier, more successful, etc. person, but don’t follow that road with a map that leaves out the pit-stops of self-love and recognition.

Celebrating who you are isn’t vanity – it’s expressing the perfect interconnectedness of all of us. So, I say, be vain! Love yourself!

Who do we love?…